I Hope You Dance, Douchebag

A lot of people like to create lists for me of things I'll never, "understand" because, according to them I am not a Mother.  Well, I am a Mother.  And just so we're clear kids, there are few things in this world that are more rude than telling a woman who is a full-time step-mother that she can't "understand" what it means to be a "real" Mother.  TRY ME.  The only thing I may not understand is how frustrating it can be to urinate every time you sneeze, but the love a Mother has for her child.  Yea, that I can comprehend.  And I totally sympathize with the sneezing, peeing thing.

However, here's one of the mysteries of motherhood that escapes me.

"I HOPE YOU DANCE" by LeAnn Womack.

I'm not cold blooded....I understand all parents want the best and EVERYTHING wonderful for their children under the sun.  We don't want them to hurt, and if they have to we don't want them to give up on love and life forever. We want them to always believe in the good of humanity and pray that they'll do their best to contribute something wonderful to the world.  But isn't their a better way to encourage a child to live life to the fullest and never give up then to belt a lame power ballad which begs the Universe, "please, let my child always be as naive and goofy as they were when they were 3...don't let them clue into the fact that some people are assholes and sometimes it's really friggin hard to make sense of this life.... instead, let them stand next to the ocean at 40 and still think they look 4, and no matter what goes wrong let them shrug their shoulders, stand up and do the macarena."  Amen.

Why the fuck do all mothers love that song?!?!?!  Why do they print the lyrics and frame them?  Why do they have blankets made for their children with the lyrics ironed on?  Why do they purchase greeting cards that quote the song? I hope you dance?! And has anyone bothered to watch the video?   LeAnn Womack is dressed in a prom dress from Fashion Bug, sitting in a cemetery, singing to scary kids after just having been tazed......I don't wanna dance! My Mom used to play us this song called, "If I Could"....now not only is it a tear-jerker, but it's a infinitely better sung ballad which speaks the truth.  Basically, it's a jungle out there and I love you so much that I would take all the pain and heartache you're ever going to know away if I could- but I am your Mom, not a miracle worker so I can't.  But I would if I could.  So go on out and do your best and understand that some days are going to suck, but you don't need to do a jitterbug when that happens. Just call me and we'll talk about it.

Happy Belated Mother's Day.

bisousxoxo,
Jac